Lights to Guide Me Home by Meghan J. Ward

Author:Meghan J. Ward
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: RMB | Rocky Mountain Books
Published: 2022-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

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Our Drive to Haast opened my eyes to New Zealand’s geographical diversity, as if the island’s topography was being crammed into a children’s pop-up book. In just two hours, we drove through lake country and forests, past braided rivers and glaciated peaks that faded quickly to flatter terrain and a glimpse of the Tasman Sea. On our first night after leaving Wānaka, we slept very little as the baby adjusted to yet another new place. But we weren’t stopping for long, with plans to depart the next day to drive the coastline and stop for a few nights in Franz Josef. From there we’d follow the water all the way to Charleston before heading inland, up to Nelson, then across to Picton to board the ferry for the North Island.

In the days that followed, no amount of driving would familiarize the baby with the process of getting from A to B, or eventually put her at ease in the back seat. And two or three nights in a place wasn’t enough for her to overcome her apprehension about new environments, especially new places to sleep in. We grew tired and weary. I alternated between feeling despair and deciding it would just take more time. Night after night we struggled, and a lack of sleep made Maya more volatile during the daytime. She’d shift from happy, joyful playing to all-out meltdown on a dime.

“She needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own,” Paul said on our way from Haast to Franz Josef as intermittent sounds of protest blared from behind. We cranked the radio louder to tune it out.

I knew that, but I wondered if there was something else going on. Without having the vocabulary to speak, Maya left us in the dark about why exactly she was protesting. We figured out much later that, as a young child, she detested the feeling of being constrained. She wouldn’t even hug or cuddle until she was 3. So, while she was overtired and struggling to calm down to sleep, the few hours of car rides per day also meant she couldn’t move freely and she was persistent in letting us know.

“Maybe she’ll outgrow it,” I said, hardly believing it for myself.

We rolled along with the baby wailing. I almost wondered if people in the cars around us could hear her, she was so loud. Then a snicker flashed across my face as I stared out the window, thinking about our conversation with the guests at Skoki Lodge. Travel certainly wasn’t the same. And though we could do it, right now I wasn’t sure if it was worth it.

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